Where I grew up we had four seasons…winter, spring, summer, and fall; here in the south we have two seasons…hot, muggy summer and paradise 🙂 I have a dear friend who has shown me how life itself gives us many seasons…growing up, going to school, living at home, being on your own, singleness, dating, marriage…some seasons are for many years, some for only a short time. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 confirms this: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
- be born – die
- plant – uproot
- kill – heal
- tear down – build up
- weep – laugh
- mourn – dance
- scatter stones – gather them up
- embrace – refrain from embracing
- search – give up
- keep – throw away
- tear – mind
- silent – speak
- love – hate
- war – peace
I’m learning to enjoy the different seasons as they come into my life. Sometimes that’s the hardest part…embracing and accepting whatever season that I am currently in. This season of bed rest has been a combination of accepting and rejecting. Accepting, because I want to do what’s best for baby girl & if that means lying down for weeks on end, then I will do that. But rejecting, because I know that this is not how God designed a pregnancy to go and so praying and contending for a beautiful miracle of healing.
This season of bed rest holds another season inside of it…a season of “letting go”. Letting go of a normal way of life and embracing a new normal. Letting go of independence and depending on other people’s help. Letting go of doing things my way and allowing my husband to do things his way (and he is doing an amazing job!). Letting go of being there for every activity with Abigail and allowing other Godly women to step in and fill the void. Letting go of looking nice when people stop in and being okay with constantly having a “bed head” (who knew that it’d be so hard to have nice-looking hair when you’re lying down 24/7? :). Letting go of pouring into a life and allowing others to pour into your own. Letting go of giving to others and allowing yourself to receive. Letting go of perfection and allowing God to work out the imperfect. Letting go of the joy of allowing the public to see my “pregnant belly” and being content with knowing that God knows I love carrying life and I don’t have to show it off in order for Him to receive glory.
There have been numerous things I wanted to do this summer with Abigail and also as a family, but I haven’t been able to. I’m slowly learning to be okay with that. I can’t be and do everything I want to right now…All the things that “they” say a good wife/mother should do? I can’t do a single one of them.
But that really doesn’t matter, because who I am, is not based on what I do. God does not see what I do and love me for that; He loves me simply because He made me. I am special and precious and worthy of the life of His Son, because He formed me and gave me life.
So what I can do, is much more valuable than any physical thing I could ever do for my family. I can spend hours praying for them, bringing them and their needs to our Daddy who loves them even more than I do. I have plenty of time to read my Bible, so when my husband comes home from a long day at work, I have a word from God to share with him & encourage him. I can cultivate a spirit of praise, and worship…an atmosphere of peace and joy and thankfulness in this house.
Right now, that is absolutely the best way I can help out. And I’m still learning how to do it well. I don’t want to look back on this season and wish I had done better, that I had spent more time praising and less time pouting. Yes, I have had my times of pouting. But bed rest is so much easier when I’m praising God and being thankful for all the ways He has blessed us & provided for us!
There will come a time when I will be back on my feet and I will be able to fill the God-given role of managing my home and taking care of my family. I can’t wait to be able to do that 🙂 Until that season comes, I will care for them from my couch and I will do it with joy!