Change happens. All the time. Whether it’s a positive or negative change, whether you like change or not, it happens. I always said that “I don’t deal well with change” until just recently, when I realized what I was actually saying and a major mind-shift happened.
It all started with this new season of our lives…having a school-age child! I thought I was ready for Abigail to go to school, but in the days leading up to the big day, it became very obvious that I was not okay 😦 She was so excited for her first day and while I said I was excited too, I really was not looking forward to it, because “I don’t deal well with change.” And this was a big change!
Two nights before her big day, we went to her restaurant of choice to celebrate this milestone, and thanks to my husband & his words, my mind-shift began that night and continued to reveal itself into the next day. I had been busy getting things ready for her first day…clothes, shoes, supplies, etc., all the while thinking subconsciously “But what about me? What about her mama? Sure, Abigail’s excited about school, but what am I going to do while she’s gone? Doesn’t anyone care about my sadness and how I’m going to miss her and how I don’t deal well with change?!” (Yes, it really was as bad of a pity party as it sounds!)
And here is where the mind-shift began to happen…Yes, it is a change and yes, there is an element of sadness to it and yes, it is okay to shed tears. But. What about my child and her excitement/nervousness for this change? How can I be genuinely excited for her when I can’t see past my own feelings of “poor me”? Because really, this is not about me. To think that it is, is quite honestly, kind of selfish of me. It’s about her and the new friends she will make and the exciting things she will learn this next year. So, in the words of my husband, “let’s celebrate her and the beautiful milestone that this is in her life!”
We had a wonderful time of celebration that night and when school started on Monday morning, I was so excited for Abigail and the adventure that she was starting. And you know what? She absolutely loves school! She’s said multiple times, “I love going to school and I love coming home.” That right there is confirmation to us that she is where she is supposed to be.
I recognize that I could have handled this change a little
better differently. But I also know that the next time a new season comes, I will be able to handle it better, because this is what I felt the Lord telling me…”You are learning and growing, and you are able to handle change well, because I am walking with you and I am showing you how.” The best part about experiencing changing circumstances, is that I serve the God who never changes and never will!
This is only the beginning of the many times we will need to let go of our children. But I know that the same Spirit that is in me, is also in them. And with all my heart, I choose to trust Him in them and trust that together they will make the choices that will best give Him glory.